Scripta Manent Verba Volant

The hardest thing to do is to open up knowing that nobody cares.On the other hand I couldn’t care less.

Sounds familiar I know,it’s the mere truth.I met you a long long time ago,you were lost in the world I got lost too.

We found each other years after,after a huge series of meetings than never happened,even blind dates,concerts that we both were attending but we were always missing each other.Years after all the marks on both of us were too visible,we had left our pride and our defenses aside when we were talking to each other.Our arguments fierce and our mutual trust reborn in a certain level.

It was always the world against us.Seems that the world is still against us.Instead of moving forward we are both stuck exactly at the same point,the same places,the same circumstances with no exit signs.I am walking in the dark and you walk towards the end of the tunnel.You wish you could help me .I don’t want any help right now.You stretch the hand out to cover the distance separating us and the screen turns black.I have to switch off the computer.

How many times we came that close feeling like one,how many times we were willing to unify our lives when imponderable factors were always putting obstacles in our way.

Love conquers all I agree but nobody can live on love and you know that as well as I.In betwenn suicides,ignorance,lost opportunities,hatred,depression,aggressiveness and nerd talk,in between laughs and tears it has always been you and me.Maybe if I had agreed a year ago,maybe today wouldn’t be another dead end.

Breathe

You don’t listen
You don’t listen to anyone
In fact you listen only to your own thoughts and ask me to waste my time trying to adopt your own thoughts pretending they are mine
“I never said so,that’s your “untruth” “

Please define Truth and Untruth.
With you I can’t separate them,that simple.
Timeline is so flat with you.

“You said it’s gonna last”
You said so
You said so
You told me..
You said that night..
We were meant to be..””

I don’t care anymore but you can’t understand that I simply do not care
Whatever I said it might have been true for that time but it has changed as all liquid forms do,
They change,
They never stay the same,
And I gave you the space to move on
But you are so clung onto me.
You said..
Yes I said so but I don’t anymore.
Lips are sealed and eyes looking the other way
While you think I look at the same direction as you.
I look the other way because it is more intriguing
More relevant to what I am
*Inquires* What you are is so untrue
*Replies* Convenient
Convenience built a lifetime and it won’t quit.
Convenience is my worst enemy but your best friend.
You build alliances with the devil in the name of convenience while I am relying on myself.
You drag me to the darkest corner to seduce me with appealing words
Once upon a time it might have been working on me
Now it doesn’t.
I flew away and it feels heavenly
I doubt it if I would ever be coming back
A remote possibility.
You might live on it.
I won’t ever.
Altering the truth won’t ever bring me back.And even if I were coming back,it would be just the desperate shadow of me.
Convenience is your best friend.All I got was a compulsive landing to last night,sorry I skipped that night.

*Inquiring again* I know you can’t express yourself right now

*Answering the inpolite way* Suspition built up your entire life

You can’t get it probably that I have like 15 years more to live before i surrender to aging.

Not wasting time on anyone right now,excuse me

“But you said……”

I never said a single thing.

I am finally living free

Blame for this but I was too scared.I was “settled down” not willing to risk again and deal with more issues than mine,I was enjoying a good life.Now it’s vice versa and I am glad one of us is out of the hook.Finally.There is hope for you.When there is almost none for me and the saddest part is that nobody cares.I do,you do,we do and I thank you for caring even if it’s partially fake.

The days to come will be very difficult for me.And the days to come will be more easy for you.I haven’t exactly regretted the fact I didn’t marry you but I reconsider the fact there is no option I could right now.Pity ..I was about to.Now that we were facing the same.. maintaining our pride as a trace of old times’ glory.

It’s okay really,I don’t miss the previous Me to be honest.I don’t mind gothic cleaning or cooking.. I do mind the fact that we were deprived again from a second chance by upper forces,the money games,the politics games everything that makes us feel that we lost control over our own lives.. we lost the right to decide for ourselves.

It’s your right to reject me,my right to reject you but it’s nobody else’s right to sacrifice our future in the altar of profit.Yet it happened and now everything is so distant.I feel distant to you,You to me feel alienated.

There are certain things we have to do and each one of us will do them.I will do my part you will do yours.I will meet you again after the storm goes away.And after there is nothing left here. After you will be rebuilding your ruined life.And after I will put back the pieces of mine.

I’d really like to be your soul mate.We never matched as far as our backgrounds go.But I’d really love to give it a try.I am sorry the facts catch up on my intentions.

I really don’t care about who really cares,time will tell.The situations are changing rapidly and we are in front of many changes.But I wish you were fighting by my side for a brand new world.Our new world.And it’s impossible.I would never ever take away your hopes .The contrary,I take hope from you.And I will miss you the coming days.Or the coming years,I don’t have a clue.

Next time we will meet each other again we will really be old,our children grown up and us timid and feeling uncomfortable.And I know I will be wanting to tell you that I did love you but I never could find the words to tell you.

One thing you know about me,I will never have any slippers or flip flops to put on.. I hate that kind of middle class retired stuff,I’d rather walk barefoot on stones than settling down for less.I am to old for revolutions I know.

I am too young to be a spectator as well.I am full of unleashed energy,unleashed anger,unleashed desires to change at least one tiny thing.For those who are desperate at their 15 years old.For your child and my children too.

Excuse me,I have to turn off the router,switch off the connection until further notice.You know where to find me.Aristotelous Square.

If you find me at home means everything was meaningless and we were defeated.Even if nobody cares.

I know you will keep on walking.Don’t you ever stop even if I am miles behind you.

Be the change you want to see in the world.You should have been mine.I am sorry.

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