“I love you” and we hang up the phone.
Me here and you there deepening the gap between us two.
Staying endless hours in front of the screen just to stay in contact just to keep up with our distant lives .
Rewinding and rewinding to our pasts,digging holes in there to understand why and how our relationship became so dependent.
The past two years I love you and I hate you at the same time.
And the past year you hate me and then you remember you used to love me.
We adopted all wrongs and embodied them in our attitude.I blame you and you silently blame me,then we give a kiss and we rewind again to the comfortable past caressing a yellowed concert ticket.
High hopes die first.
We both thought that love would overcome any border any country any everything.
High hopes in narrow minds like yours and mine
Your days are cloudy and chilly,pouring despair on the cab stops.Mine is a patchwork of scattered pieces.
I look at you and all i see is sarcastic arrogance.
You look at me and all you see is anger.
The middle way detours to the edges.
And leads straight to the cliff.
I am aging and so do you.And we are still trapped in the borders of any country demonstrating to each other an invisible passport just to meet.Sometimes i want to laugh at both of us,we the “enlightened” ones.
Most of the times,our thoughts are coinciding.
“What the hell am i doing here”
For five days each month I have to adopt your language and for five days each month you try hard to understand what I am saying in my own one-ones if you prefer.
Confusing cultures misleading backgrounds diametrically opposite experiences and us caught in between.
But it wasn’t like that when we first met.
In fact it was the other way round,it was easy.. nobody was looking at you as a stranger,you weren’t the living symbol of a decaying cultural imitation and I used to have an identity and a bit of pride.
Look at us now.
You are constantly going back and forth from the dull dark days to the sunny ones yet thoughtfull and miserable.
And I am waiting here equally thoughtfull and miserable under a bright sky.
Don’t ask me how did this happen,I don’t have any answer to provide not even to myself.
In fact don’t ask me anything.On each question the hiatus deepens and broadens and soon you will be out of my reach.
I am already.
I am tired of the monthly visits.I know you are too
You can’t come here and I don’t want to go there.We lost the middle way.
Isn’t it funny!
Our beds are made of airplane tickets.And we are both sleeping with the phone in our hands that we never answer.
Isn’t it funny how much it had to hurt.
How the hell we did believe the hype?
Once upon we were sharing the same views.What happened in between and I labeled you and you labeled me?
Don’t even try to give an answer,it will be the wrong one and I will laugh bitterly at your face reminding you that you are well settled down
And you will wave a torn piece of that damn concert ticket,i will stop for a minute and in the next second we will be silently throwing killing glances at each other.The hype killed us both.
We didn’t even feel the pain.