Revenge is the most insidious feeling.It resides in the subconscious layer of the being.Revenge is found even in primary forms of life.Ancient and primordial dominates the fragile instants of emotional retreat.
Masked behind a kind smile or a warm look in the eyes,deceives the recipient .The usual statement is “I’d never hurt you” when the plot in the backstage is all about getting revenge.Memory lagging is convenient to cause situations of undesired and fruitless arguments,a waste of time.
In fact even the plotting itself is a waste of time,,,even the single thought of the pleasure to see suffering the one who “caused” pain
Everything is so fluid and objective in this life,my thoughts are nothing new.I just take the liberty to express my own point of view,or my own truth if you prefer .So many different dimension we are living in.I may be living in a peaceful dimension while the being to whom I am talking to,is living in a twister of contradictive emotions.So hard to explain the mind when we can’t explain our own ones.
The mind is usually to be blamed for the subconscious re-actions.I could bet everybody’s minds are working perfectly as nature planned it, our incapacity to face and deal with the facts blurs the vision.Like in a fiction movie all we see is the target and the order given by the misleading emotion :revenge.
Supposing the goal was achieved and revenge was taken.At first an unknown paradise is in front of the eyes with waterfalls,angels,harps and hiding devils.
After a while it turns to a personal purgatory screaming for purification when it’s so out of reach.A door has already closed behind and it won’t ever open again. The door to the enlightment.The door to self knowledge and the hallway to the next day.Time stops,the past relives and the present is in a parallel orbit .Even though the hands are stretched out to reach ,even though the mind is spinning,the present has been lost.Rewinding is the only result ,incarcerated in a non compatible state of mind leading to insanity.
The wish to take it all back is now invalid.Hatred is replaced by sorrow.Apologizing is empty words.Gravity feels heavier.The air feels more thick.A slow spiritual death.
Was it worth?
Was it worth a blackened mirror with no image reflecting? Was it worth reviving a nightmare with no exit?
I could be smiling from my orbit but I can’t.In my paradise feelings still exist and I am feeling sorry seeing them tortured .I could offer my hand to save them but I won’t interfere with their choices.They chose sides as I did too.I am not living in the perfect day but I am not suffering either.I wish they hadn’t chosen the road of pain either.Full of thorns and rocks in the way,while they walk barefoot.I wish they had chosen wisely.
Nobody promised a bed of roses when we were born.Our natal gift was a bouquet of thorns for us to predict.The suffering ones are just the ones who received a bouquet of lilies: Harmless and deceiting.Potentially the lilies turn vindictive.They grow roots and thorns againt nature.They grow pointy leaves.They dry faster than any other flower.They die rapidly consumed from the inside,spraying rot as they die.
I am an old flower.I could be in a jar in a museum.Yet my petals are still colorful and the perfume keeps no malice.I rest at night peacefully,I wake up facing the sun with hope.
I am a flower that loves theories and queries. I am a flower that appreciates Now.I am a flower that can live in the coldest mountain or in a salty soil at a random seashore.I am an orbital flower with a purpose.In my journey I met other flowers,opposite ones,malicious ones,revengeful ones, all trapped in the same orbit the parallel one to mine.
The sun sets and rises and the days go by in my dimension with a meaning.I watch them as they float in darkness empty handed and dark souled .I wish I could break the separating glass to set them free from their remorses but I can’t anymore.
All I can do is hand them a bouquet of dead lilies.It’s all about living and not about surviving.
I will be dried and dead tomorrow probably thrown in the garbage.But I will be leaving marks of my presence on the jar.They are dead already with no trace except a desperate blink of the eye and then,lost for ever in the darkest corners of nothing.
Revenge: the most ancient primordial feeling,one of the most affecting ones,bringing the destruction on any being on the face of earth.Masked behind a kind look,a warm smile,a caring touch.Is it worth losing precious limited time?Yet vendetta is.